What not to wear

Clashing prints and clothing that's too tight

Fairfield Daily Republic ©

Some things in fashion just don't make sense.

Take, for example, the folks who wear socks with sandals. I was always under the impression that either people wore sandals to free their feet from the constraints of shoes or they found a pair of sandals that nicely fit their outfit. Apparently, I was wrong.

Instead, I'm subjected to the daily visuals of eyesores, usually once a day regardless of rain or shine, of folks who wear sandalsocks. And what's worse, they often don't match their outfits! Yes, I've seen a few rebels wearing beige shorts with dark blue socks tucked quite awkwardly into black sandals.

It just boggles my mind, especially when I see this type of footwear worn at the business place. When did business-casual include the sandalsock gear? Better yet, when did sandalsocks become one word and acceptable in public?

Look, sandals are not a new thing. They came into existence eons ago. Heck, the Romans had no problems fighting their battles with just a pair of sandals, even though they did have socks at the time called soccus, which fit loosely around their feet. And even then, fashion was respected - they left the soccus at home, where they belong!

It's just something that doesn't look good. It makes some people squirm, it brings visions of pain to others and it makes you just plain wonder, "Why?"

So I asked a guy why he wears this so-called style and his response was quite sincere: "Because my sandals smell if I don't wear them." Hey, maybe it's time to buy another pair or wear something else. I believe Birken "socks," oops, I mean Birkenstocks have a lifetime guarantee.

What also doesn't make sense are tight clothes, regardless if it's fashionable or not. I've asked a few folks why they wear tight clothes and to my surprise, I've have gotten back two common responses - wearing loose clothes will make them look bigger and they intend to lose the weight some day. Really?

Here's an insight into tight clothing - they accentuate unsightly bulges! Don't buy something thinking it will feel just right one day. Buy it because it looks good now. And be careful with white - that's also a color that adds weight.

One of the gravest mistakes in fashion, and one of the most unsightly, is exposed undergarments. If your pants are low-rise, and most teenagers are wearing them that way these days, then your panties or underwear should be, too. Luckily, that style is going out!

Too many prints on an outfit? Get rid of it, please. Leave the vertigo issues for director Alfred Hitchcock. Mixing and matching prints will look extremely busy. If you're going to wear prints, make it either the top or bottom, not both. In addition, patterns are not for everyone.

Since the fall season is upon us again, I decided to check with my sister Candace in New York on fall fashions.

"Pencil skirts," she said without hesitation. "And grommet bags are in. You know, the metal rings on the bag? The little suede bags with the circle? They're called grommets. They look like little circles. Ugh, forget it."

"Yes, I get it. I also saw metallic copper shoes at the mall. Remember those?" I responded with a laugh. She gasped.

"OK, last season. We're a decade ahead in New York as opposed to California," Candace said before revealing some more "in" things.

Big cardigans and skinny belts at the waist as well as boots and huge bags.

"They have to be huge, very '70s," she said. "And the bags are massive like a small piece of luggage."

Also textured tights and socks, faux fur collared coats and cardigans, menswear-inspired suiting separates in plaids, tweeds and wool, fitted blazers, cropped jackets, military jackets, cardigans and tweed peep toe shoes.

"You know Candace, there's a lot of fashion stuff to remember," I told her, as she sighed on the phone.

"Don't bore me with agony," she said before hanging up.